GUNDAM WING ELECTIONS **Debates AND Results**
by Evets O' Rourke
Summary: Hey, it's a parody of the elections, so I figured, why not change it's category. Nothing new, so if you've already read it, you won't find any changes.
1. The debates

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# GUNDAM WING ELECTIONS

Ok Ok, I know, this has been done before, but what hasn't ? Hopefully you'll like this version, don't forget to cast your vote when you review. 

****************************************************** 

**Steve : And now ladies and gentleman, the presidential debate. What you hear today may very well be the deciding factor in who you vote for as ruler of the world and the colonies. Here are the candidates : **

_For the "Omae o Korsou" party, Heero Yuy _

For the "Fun-and-games" party , Duo Maxwell 

For the, the uh.. _the ".........." party , Trowa Barton _

For the "Winner Industries" party. Quatre Raberba Winner 

For the "Justice" party , Wufei Chang 

For the "Hippy Pacifist" party , Relena Peacecraft 

For the "Blow stuff up and cause war" party, Dorothy Catalonia 

and for the, are you kidding me ? you can't be serious,_ it is the "Im too sexy for my shirt" party, being represented by Zechs Merquise _

And now that you know the candidates, lets move on to the debates. 

Anonymous Reporter #1 : Mr. Yuy, why should people vote for you ? 

Heero : (wearing his usual tank top and shorts) Yes, a good question, although I don't have the leading experience like Ms. Peacecraft, or even Mr. Merquise, I beleive I can sum up why in 6 simple words. "I'll kill you if you don't." 

Anonymous Reporter #1 : Im still not voting for you. 

_BANG !!! _

_Heero calmly puts his gun back into wherever he keeps it when not pointing it at people. _

Heero : Any futher questions ? 

_none answer _

Steve : Ok, moving on, Duo Maxwell. 

AR #2 : Mr. Maxwell, why should we vote for you ? 

Duo : (to save me the trouble, they're all wearing their usual clothes ) Because, if you vote for me, I will institute 'National Goof off and Party day !' Rock On !! 

_A large chorus of "Yeah's" fill the arena as every teenager and lazy fat guy roar in approval _

Steve : whew, this one's still alive. Hey, security ! Get rid of the one Heero already killed ! Ok, next, Trowa Barton. 

AR #2 : Mr. Barton. Why should we vote for you ? 

Trowa : ................ 

AR #2 : Excuse me ? 

Trowa : ............. 

AR #2 : Huh ? 

Catherine : Ugh, no no no, you get his attention like this. _Throws a handful of knives at Trowa. All but one miss. _

Trowa : Agh, dammit Catherine, that was my right nut !! Jesus, damn, ouch ! 

Steve : We'll get back to Trowa on the next question. Guaranteed, no more Clinton scandals if he's elected. _Ducks piece of moldy fruit thrown by someone. _Uh, Heero, that guy that threw the fruit at me, he said he wasn't going to vote for you. 

Heero : Mission Accepted 

_BANG !! _

Steve :heh heh heh. Moving along, Quatre Raberba Winner. 

AR #2 : Mr. Winner, why should people vote for you ? 

Quatre : _puts down his tea and adjusts his tie _Because Im rich. 

AR #2 : Any other reasons ? 

Quatre : _shrugs _Nope. 

Steve : That was certianly fast, well, now we're at Wufei Chang. 

AR #2 : Mr. Chang... 

Wufei : Don't speak weakling ! I know your weak question, and my answer is that I should be president because I will institute justice !! I have already begun construction on the _National Justice Library, the School of Justice , the Justice website www.justice.com/justiceisnataku and the Justice channel, all justice all the time. _

Steve : Oookay. Moving along...the Hippy Pacifist party, this should take awhile, I warn all viewers to get comfortable. 

AR #2 : Ms. Peace- _BANG !! _

_Heero puts his gun back. _

Heero : I was getting tired of listening to him. 

AR #3 : Ms. Peacecraft, why should we elect you ? 

Relena : Well, I was former Queen of the world, I was queen of my own country, and because I will establish pacifism everywhere !! I will destroy all weapons and stop all wars and -- _BANG !! _

Camera moves to Heero, but no smoke is coming from his gun. Camera moves around the room to Dorothy. She is holding a gun. 

Heero : Damn, I wanted to shoot her. 

Relena : Im fine people, Im okay , just a wound _BANG !! _

Heero : heh heh heh 

Steve : Well, Relena has, um, dropped out of the elections, soo... 

AR #3 : Ms. Catalonia.... 

Dorothy : Hold on a sec please. _grabs a rapier out of nowhere and spears Quatre. _

Quatre : It hurts it hurts. _falls over, painfully wounded, but not dead. _

Dorothy : Ok, Im ready. I beleive I should be president because I will cause wars, beautiful shiny, pleasant candy-like wars ! I'll start with Switzerland, they've been neutral too long, it will be a beautiful fight, then Ethiopia, then Canada and Mexico..... 

Steve : Ok Dorothy, times up. Last but not least, Zechs Merquise. 

AR #3 : Mr. Merqui......uh, Mr. Merquise ? 

_Zechs appears to be zoned out, out of nowhere the 'Macho macho man' music plays. Zechs begins stripdancing, all male members of the audience (including the Gundam Boys and myself) leave the arena. After 8 hours, the screaming of hundreds of horny women begin to quiet down. After another 3 hours, Heero grows impatient and throws a few things of tear-gas inside. 3 more hours and the gas clears out and we continue the debate. _

******************************************************* 

Steve : Well, now for round two. 

AR #3 : Mr. Yuy, what will you do if elected ? 

Heero : Kill all pacifists, kill all who piss me off, kill all who don't do what I say. 

AR #3 : Mr. Maxwell ? 

Duo : Rock on !!! 

_chorus of yeahs fill the arena as all teenagers and fat lazy people cheer for Duo _

AR #3 : Mr. Barton ? 

Trowa : _looks over at Cathy who is sharpening her knives. _Ahem, I, well _rubs his newly pierced nut _For starters, Im going to kill my sister and ban knife throwing. 

AR #3 : Mr. Winner ? 

Quatre : _weakly gets up, keeping a hand over his newly re-opened sword wound _I'll give money to all the poor people and still have enough to buy the rest of the countries from the other leaders. 

AR #3 : Mr. Chang. 

Wufei : I will preach JUSTICE AND NATAKU !! JUSTICE IS GOOD !!! 

AR #3 : Ms Peace..oh yeah, Ms. Catalonia ? 

Dorothy : I will start wars and take over the world through force, beautiful war !! 

AR #3 : Im almost afraid to ask, but, Mr. Merquise ? 

_Macho Man music starts to play again. Women reach for dollar bills _

BANG !!!! Heero shot the stereo guy and the stereo. 

Zechs : Well, I will make an all me dancing shirtless channel for women, and, uh, I guess that's it. ******************************************************* Steve : Well, we've had a heated debate so far, including 5 civilian casualties, 1 sword wound and one stripdance. Hopefully no more, Heero informed me he's out of tear-gas. Well, now for the third and final round. 

AR #3 : Mr. Yuy, who will be your vice-president ? 

Heero : I don't need one, nor do I need a congress, or a secretary of state, or an ambassador, speaking of which, do you have the time ? 

AR #3 : Why yes, it's 4 in the afternoon, why do you ask ? 

Heero : You'll see, 3...2...1..ignition _pushes a small red button. The Whit House, the House or Representatives and the Senate all explode in a massive blaze. _Mission Complete. 

AR #3 : Mr. Maxwell ? 

Duo : Ya oughtta know Hilde's gonna be my vice-president, and the first lady. Rock on !!! 

_Loud chorus of Yeah's as all the teenagers and fat lazy people roar their approval. _

AR #3 : Mr. Barton ? 

Trowa : Like Heero, I have no vice president. _fwapp !! _Ah, my other nut !! I...I mean Cathy is my vice-president, medic.... 

AR #3 : Mr. Winner ? 

Quatre : I'll have one of my sister's be the vice-president. 

AR #3 : Mr. Chang ? 

Wufei : JUSTICE !!! Justice will be my vice-president, Justice and Nataku will be my entire Congress of Justice !! 

AR #3 : Ms. Catalonia ? 

Dorothy : Why, Mr. Treize of course. 

AR #3 : But he died. 

Dorothy : Oh yeah, then my little Quatre. 

Quatre : Hell no !! You stabbed me 2 friggin times you bitch ! Oops, just, calm down Quatre, just calm down, drink some tea. I decline Ms. Dorothy's offer. 

_Dorothy grabs her rapier _

Quatre : On second thought, I accept. 

AR #3 : Mr. Merquise. 

_Zechs is once again trying to dance, although there is no music. Steve throws a book and hits Zechs in the face. _

Zechs : Huh ? Wha, oh yeah, all you ladies can be my vice-president. 

_assorted cheering from all the horny females in the audience waving dollar bills. _

******************************************************* 

Steve : Well, thats the debate, vote for your favorite candidate. I will count up the votes and announce the winner sometime after Christmas. Ok, now, in a nutshell (sorry Trowa) here are our candidates their motto and their vice president if they win. 

_Omae o Korsou party : Heero Yuy : Vote for me or I'll kill you : No vice-president _

Fun and Games party : Duo Maxwell : Rock on !! : Vice-president- Hilde Schbeiker 

........ party : Trowa Barton : ......agh ! My nut !!.... : Vive President - Catherine Bloom 

Winner Industries party : Quatre Raberba Winner : You stabbed me two friggin times you psycho bitch !!! : Vice-president - One of his sisters 

Justice party : Wufei Chang : JUSTICE !!!! : Vice-president(s) - Justice and Nataku 

Hippy Pacifist party : no candidate : no motto : no vice pres 

Blow stuff up and cause war party : Dorothy Catalonia : Beautiful pleasant candy-like war ! : Vice president : Quatre Raberba Winner 

Im too sexy for my shirt party : Zechs Merquise : *dancing* Macho macho man . I want to be, a macho man : Vice president - all the ladies in the audience 

******************************************************* 

Well, thats the debate and the run-down of all the candidates, choose wisely, vote wisely, and vote quick. 

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	2. The results

**GUNDAM WING ELECTIONS : THE RESULTS **

Ok, I know I've been putting this off way too long, and I owe it to all of you to hurry the hell up and get these finished. So, here goes... By the way, Id like to apologize for the popup banner, I dont know how to get rid of it and Ive tried everything. 

******************************************************* 

Author's Note : Just to give more substance to the fic, I have copied and pasted a few of the reviews I received for the Election fic. 

Steve : We are now in the lovely city of "Elsewhere" where our votes are being counted as of now. In case you have forgotten, we have 8, no, 7, forgot that Relena died. We have 7 candidates running for office. Let's go to the floor to hear some of the candidates comments. 

Anonymous Reporter #3 : Mr. Yuy, what are your thoughts on the results ? 

Heero : I believe that people are smart enough to vote for me, if not.._pulls out large clipboard w/ several Faniction.net author names._ I know who you are, I know where you live and I even know what flavor dental floss you use. I will kill you. 

AR 3 : Mr. Duo, your thoughts ? 

Duo : I think Gervase should have won the million. 

Hilde : Duo, he means about the elections, not Survivor. 

Duo : Oh, oops. Heh heh. I think it's gonna be pretty close between me and Zechs. I think Zechs' stripdancing is gonna win the female vote, but Im pretty sure that there are more of my fans then fans of Zechs, so Im gonna win. ROCK ON !!!! 

_large chorus of cheer from every teenager and fat lazy guy in the bulding as they roar in approval _

AR 3 : Mr. Trowa, same question. 

Trowa : I think Richard deserved to win the million... 

fwap !! 

Trowa : Dammit Catherine !! The judge said no more knives !! Oh, the elections. I think Im gonna do fairly well. I know the circus is backing me up, and a few homeless people who Catherine threatened to kill, I know theyre gonna vote for me. 

AR 3 : Quatre ? 

Quatre : AAAAHHH !!!! GET HER AWAY FROM ME !!!! 

Dorothy : But Quatre, I love you, now come here and lemme stab you . 

Quatre : NNNOOO!!!!! 

Dorothy : Ok, screw this. Eyebrow monster !! Get him !! (see Gundam Boys in a Mental Home) 

Eyebrow monster : ROAR !! *eats AR 3* 

Steve : DAMMIT, why does everyone kill my goddammed reporters !!?? 

AR 4 : Mr. Zechs, much debate has risen over the Pacifist territory. Many knew that it would immediately goto Relena, but due to her death, who do you think they will vote for now ? 

Zechs : I oughtta get them, Im her brother, now if you'll excuse me. Macho macho maaannn.... 

Steve : Ok, enough crap, here are the reviews. The results will be posted underneath the reviews. I just love making people wait. 

******************************************************* 

_Someone who likes to review Gundam fics but can't even think of a darn name for herself_

*is laughing too hard to type and pretty much fallnig out of her chair* GOD THAT WAS GREAT! Only thing i didn't like was what you did to Trowa. he didn't deserve that. other than that, great!!!! 

_Mirai Trunks ( Signed Review )_

Great debate. I'm voting for Duo and his party 

_Dreamer_

I want HEERO!!!! 'cause he killed relena!!!! And now we don't have to worry about pacifism!!!! THANX HEERO!!!! 

_USA TODAY_

"A fantastic Story! It kept me on the edge of my seat!" 

_Hand Of Nob ( Signed Review )_

Hmmm... let's see I think I will... no... on second thought, no not that either... hmmm.... I will vote for Dorothy, yeah, wars for everyone, death, destruction, napalm, burning buildings, rubble, hehehe, JOY, JOY, JOY!!! 

_PyroR Aka horny female_

Tell Duo to dump Hlide and i'll vote for him since i am a teenager but if he won't I'm goin' with Zechs!! 

_Dariana Night ( Signed Review )_

Wu-koi should win!! *threatens voters with Katana* anyone say otherwise? hmm? good. 

_Kat_

MUST I EVEN SAY IT? IT'S GOTTA BE DUO OR I MAY JUST PULL A HEERO ON AUTHOR *HEERO YUY DEATH GLARE* DUO BETTER WIN!!!! 

******************************************************* 

Steve : Weren't those nice ? Ok, enough stalling, HERE ARE THE RESULTS !!!!!! 

_dramatic drumroll _

**In last place with one vote ! It is the _Winner Industries party _**

Quatre : What !!! Only one vote !! Out of 59 damn people, I only got one vote !!!! 

Steve : Yep 

Quatre : *weakly* I need some tea. 

Steve : Alrighty then, in 6th place with two votes, it is the _................ party !!_

Trowa : ........oh well......*fwap* Jesus Christ already dammit !!!!!!! Heero, Catherine is an obstruction to the mission and I don't have a gun !! 

Heero : Mission accepted. I'll be back in 5 sentences. 

Steve : Alrighty then, in 5th place with 3 votes (and yes, these are the actual counts, I only counted 59 votes cause the last 2 were turned in late, but these are the actual tallies) Ok, where was I ? Oh yeah, 5th place with 3 votes is _The Justice Party _

Wufei : What !!! 3 weak votes !!! INJUSTICE !!!! Nataku, I am unworthy to establish libraries in your name. I am weak !!! 

Steve : *cough* wuss *cough* Ok, 4th place with 4 votes is _Blow stuff up and cause war party _Sheesh Quatre, it seems that either people like Dorothy more then you, or more people just like you more when your with Dorothy. 

Quatre : *kicking heels* The wicked bitch lo-ost !! Hooray !!! No pointy eyebrows for me !! 

Dorothy : Oh Quatre...wanna.........fence !? 

Quatre : _face pales _AAAAAHHHH!!!!! 

Steve : Aren't they a cute couple. Well, no, I guess not. Anywho, moving on to where are we ? 3rd place, cool, ok, third place with ten votes is _Im too sexy for my shirt party _

Zechs : Macho mach.....wait, I lost ? 

Steve : Well, ya got third place. So yeah, you lost. 

Zechs : B-b-b-but the dance, and the towel, and the women.....how could I lose ? 

Steve : Look on the bright side, you still have your fans. 

_All the horny women in the audience cheer _

Steve : Say, what ever happened to Noin ? 

Zechs : Well, um, we're married, we have been for a few years, I told her I was gonna go out for some coffee, that was five months ago........ 

Steve : _In Jerry Springer-like voice _Well, let's bring Noin out now !! 

_Noin enters arena with a baseball bat, she immediately smacks Zechs a few times in the stomach and forehead, then drags him off stage. All the other women boo and throw things. A few even leave._

Steve : I think our ratings just went down 80 percent. Ok well, Zechs or no Zechs, we have two more people left, Duo and Heero ! Many people foresaw these two as being the most popular, and looks like they were right. Ok, well, let's get their thoughts on this. 

AR 4 : Mr. Maxwell, what do you think so far ? 

Duo : I think that Rodger dude is gonna win the million on the new Survivor.... 

_Steve throws a small stone at Duo's forehead _

Steve : The election results !! 

Duo : Oh yeah...owww...I think Im gonna kick Heero's ass, ROCK ON !!!!!!!!!! 

AR 4 : You heard it there, Mr. Yuy ? Uh, Mr. Yuy. Steve, it would appear I can't find Heero. 

Heero : Im right here, I needed to change into some less bloody clothes, ol Catherine was a gusher. 

_Trowa gets a really goofy big assed smile on his face _

Trowa : Heero, did I ever mention your my best friend !! You killed her !! Thank you so much !! 

_Trowa goes to hug Heero in one of those really happy monents. Before Trowa gets within 5 feet, Heero whips out his gun. _

Heero : NON YAOI !! 

Trowa : I knew that. Ok, here, I'll pay you for killing Cathy. 

Heero : Mission accepted. Oh, and Im gonna win, people are smart, Ill win. 

Steve : Ok, well, here we go, in SECOND place with hold on....hold on.....they both have 15 votes...ladies and gentleman, we have a tie ! I am serious, there is a genuine tie !! 

Heero : Mission not accepted 

Duo : A tie !!! WEAK !! 

Wufei : An injustice even !! 

Heero : How are we gonna settle it ? 

Duo : RECOUNT !! I WANT A RECOUNT !! ROCK ON !! 

_all the fat lazy guys and teenagers roar in approval _

Steve : Heero, is that cool with you ? 

Heero : Hang on a sec. _*hops off stage and goes through audience, asking random people who they voted for. _

Anonymous Duo fan :_in trembly voice _Uh....yeah.....I uh...I voted for Duo....rock on ? 

Heero : Not anymore you wont. _Fires gun, effectively killing the random Duo fan. _Ok, recount away. 

Duo : Weak, did you see that ! He killed a voter !! 

Steve : Im not gonna stop him, not while HE has the gun anyways. Ok, I'll just flip a coin, if anything happens to this coin before, during or after the flip, you will both be banished to the land of pacifism. 

_upon finishing that sentence, Heero and Duo cringe back, afraid of pacifism._

Steve : But first, let's get Relena Peacecraft's thoughts on the current events. 

_camera goes to a cemetary at one certain grave. It is marked with Relena's name. The camera stays stationary for a moment, then returns to the election HQ._

Steve : And what tactical analysation by Relena, ok then, Heads Heero wins. Tails, Duo wins. Fair enough ? 

Heero : Accepted 

Duo : Rock on. 

Steve : Ok, _flips coin, drumrolls sound very drmatically . Coin falls ever so slowly and dramatically _

Duo : Hurry up already !! 

_the coin lands in Steve's palm _

Steve : The winner is.....Heero !!! The Omae o Korsou party wins !!!! We will have a Heerocracy !!! (thanks to whoever put that in their review, I dont remember who, but you know who you are) 

Heero : Mission accomplished. 

Duo : Oh well. Hey Hilde, let's get to the arcade, I still have some leftover campaign funds. 

Hilde : Cool 

_the two walk off to the arcade_

Steve : Well, Heero, how do ya feel to be ruler of the colonies and the earth ? 

Heero : It was the natural choice. 

Steve : Well, festivities here are high as we usher in the new Heerocracy, now, heres a clip of Heero taking his oath into office, word is, he wrote this himself. 

Heero : I do monotonely accept as my mission to end pacifism, to kill annoying people who like pacifism, and to run this country efficiently. Any who oppose my mission will be killed. 

Steve : Ok, there ya have it, President Heero Yuy is sworn in as president. Well folks, one last thing, WHERE ARE THEY NOW ? We all know what Heero is doing, but what about the others ? Let's find out.... 

Duo : Duo is living happily with Hilde in the arcade they bought. They have no hard feelings towards Heero. Duo is planning on opening a large chain of arcades, all titled ROCK ON. 

Trowa : Trowa is living happily in his traveling circus. His genitals have long since healed from the multiple knife wounds, and he still frequently visits Catherine's grave to spit on the tombstone, dig up the body and stab it, only to rebury it. 

Quatre : Quatre finally caved in to Dorothy's wishes and married her at rapier point. He now lives in constant fear, although Dorothy hasn't tried to stab him or kill him in any other way since the marriage. 

Wufei : Wufei sat and stared at his Justice Library for several weeks after finaly deciding to do something with his life. He now preaches at malls across the world and colonies promoting _Justiceism_

Relena : Relena is still dead. She rests in peace at Sanc Kingdom cemetary. Heero occasionally stops by to kick her tombstone and dance on her grave. 

Dorothy : after marrying Quatre, she started her own fencing federation called White Fang Fencing, she is not only the owner, but also the reigning champion. 

Zechs : after healing from his injuries settled down at home with his wife Noin, although many women report seeing him once a week at the local strip club dancing to Macho man. 

Steve : Well, thats it, sorry it took so long to finish, but I hope you like the finished product. If not, Im a good friend of Heero's, he knows where you live, he knows who you are, and he knows what kind of dental floss you use. Just thought Id warn you. Im Steve, and for the candidates and the dead people, good night ! 

_Just Communication plays in background as camera fades out.  _


	3. Original version of chapter one. No need...

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# GUNDAM WING ELECTIONS

Ok Ok, I know, this has been done before, but what hasn't ? Hopefully you'll like this version, don't forget to cast your vote when you review. 

****************************************************** 

**Steve : And now ladies and gentleman, the presidential debate. What you hear today may very well be the deciding factor in who you vote for as ruler of the world and the colonies. Here are the candidates : **

_For the "Omae o Korsou" party, Heero Yuy _

For the "Fun-and-games" party , Duo Maxwell 

For the, the uh.. _the ".........." party , Trowa Barton _

For the "Winner Industries" party. Quatre Raberba Winner 

For the "Justice" party , Wufei Chang 

For the "Hippy Pacifist" party , Relena Peacecraft 

For the "Blow stuff up and cause war" party, Dorothy Catalonia 

and for the, are you kidding me ? you can't be serious,_ it is the "Im too sexy for my shirt" party, being represented by Zechs Merquise _

And now that you know the candidates, lets move on to the debates. 

Anonymous Reporter #1 : Mr. Yuy, why should people vote for you ? 

Heero : (wearing his usual tank top and shorts) Yes, a good question, although I don't have the leading experience like Ms. Peacecraft, or even Mr. Merquise, I beleive I can sum up why in 6 simple words. "I'll kill you if you don't." 

Anonymous Reporter #1 : Im still not voting for you. 

_BANG !!! _

_Heero calmly puts his gun back into wherever he keeps it when not pointing it at people. _

Heero : Any futher questions ? 

_none answer _

Steve : Ok, moving on, Duo Maxwell. 

AR #2 : Mr. Maxwell, why should we vote for you ? 

Duo : (to save me the trouble, they're all wearing their usual clothes ) Because, if you vote for me, I will institute 'National Goof off and Party day !' Rock On !! 

_A large chorus of "Yeah's" fillt he arena as every teenager and lazy fat guy roar in approval _

Steve : whew, this one's still alive. Hey, security ! Get rid of the one Heero already killed ! Ok, next, Trowa Barton. 

AR #2 : Mr. Barton. Why should we vote for you ? 

Trowa : ................ 

AR #2 : Excuse me ? 

Trowa : ............. 

AR #2 : Huh ? 

Catherine : Ugh, no no no, you get his attention like this. _Throws a handful of knives at Trowa. All but one miss. _

Trowa : Agh, dammit Catherine, that was my right nut !! Jesus, damn, ouch ! 

Steve : We'll get back to Trowa on the next question. Guaranteed, no more Clinton scandals if he's elected. _Ducks piece of moldy fruit thrown by someone. _Uh, Heero, that guy that threw the fruit at me, he said he wasn't going to vote for you. 

Heero : Mission Accepted 

_BANG !! _

Steve :heh heh heh. Moving along, Quatre Raberba Winner. 

AR #2 : Mr. Winner, why should people vote for you ? 

Quatre : _puts down his tea and adjusts his tie _Because Im rich. 

AR #2 : Any other reasons ? 

Quatre : _shrugs _Nope. 

Steve : That was certianly fast, well, now we're at Wufei Chang. 

AR #2 : Mr. Chang... 

Wufei : Don't speak weakling ! I know your weak question, and my answer is that I should be president because I will institute justice !! I have already begun construction on the _National Justice Library, the School of Justice , the Justice website www.justice.com/justiceisnataku and the Justice channel, all justice all the time. _

Steve : Oookay. Moving along...the Hippy Pacifist party, this should take awhile, I warn all viewers to get comfortable. 

AR #2 : Ms. Peace- _BANG !! _

_Heero puts his gun back. _

Heero : I was getting tired of listening to him. 

AR #3 : Ms. Peacecraft, why should we elect you ? 

Relena : Well, I was former Queen of the world, I was queen of my own country, and because I will establish pacifism everywhere !! I will destroy all weapons and stop all wars and -- _BANG !! _

Camera moves to Heero, but no smoke is coming from his gun. Camera moves around the room to Dorothy. She is holding a gun. 

Heero : Damn, I wanted to shoot her. 

Relena : Im fine people, Im okay , just a wound _BANG !! _

Heero : heh heh heh 

Steve : Well, Relena has, um, dropped out of the elections, soo... 

AR #3 : Ms. Catalonia.... 

Dorothy : Hold on a sec please. _grabs a rapier out of nowhere and spears Quatre. _

Quatre : It hurts it hurts. _falls over, painfully wounded, but not dead. _

Dorothy : Ok, Im ready. I beleive I should be president because I will cause wars, beautiful shiny, pleasant candy-like wars ! I'll start with Switzerland, they've been neutral too long, it will be a beautiful fight, then Ethiopia, then Canada and Mexico..... 

Steve : Ok Dorothy, times up. Last but not least, Zechs Merquise. 

AR #3 : Mr. Merqui......uh, Mr. Merquise ? 

_Zechs appears to be zoned out, out of nowhere the 'Macho macho man' music plays. Zechs begins stripdancing, all male members of the audience (including the Gundam Boys and myself) leave the arena. After 8 hours, the screaming of hundreds of horny women begin to quiet down. After another 3 hours, Heero grows impatient and throws a few things of tear-gas inside. 3 more hours and the gas clears out and we continue the debate. _

******************************************************* 

Steve : Well, now for round two. 

AR #3 : Mr. Yuy, what will you do if elected ? 

Heero : Kill all pacifists, kill all who piss me off, kill all who don't do what I say. 

AR #3 : Mr. Maxwell ? 

Duo : Rock on !!! 

_chorus of yeahs fill the arena as all teenagers and fat lazy people cheer for Duo _

AR #3 : Mr. Barton ? 

Trowa : _looks over at Cathy who is sharpening her knives. _Ahem, I, well _rubs his newly pierced nut _For starters, Im going to kill my sister and ban knife throwing. 

AR #3 : Mr. Winner ? 

Quatre : _weakly gets up, keeping a hand over his newly re-opened sword wound _I'll give money to all the poor people and still have enough to buy the rest of the countries from the other leaders. 

AR #3 : Mr. Chang. 

Wufei : I will preach JUSTICE AND NATAKU !! JUSTICE IS GOOD !!! 

AR #3 : Ms Peace..oh yeah, Ms. Catalonia ? 

Dorothy : I will start wars and take over the world through force, beautiful war !! 

AR #3 : Im almost afraid to ask, but, Mr. Merquise ? 

_Macho Man music starts to play again. Women reach for dollar bills _

BANG !!!! Heero shot the stereo guy and the stereo. 

Zechs : Well, I will make an all me dancing shirtless channel for women, and, uh, I guess that's it. ******************************************************* Steve : Well, we've had a heated debate so far, including 5 civilian casualties, 1 sword wound and one stripdance. Hopefully no more, Heero informed me he's out of tear-gas. Well, now for the third and final round. 

AR #3 : Mr. Yuy, who will be your vice-president ? 

Heero : I don't need one, nor do I need a congress, or a secretary of state, or an ambassador, speaking of which, do you have the time ? 

AR #3 : Why yes, it's 4 in the afternoon, why do you ask ? 

Heero : You'll see, 3...2...1..ignition _pushes a small red button. The Whit House, the House or Representatives and the Senate all explode in a massive blaze. _Mission Complete. 

AR #3 : Mr. Maxwell ? 

Duo : Ya oughtta know Hilde's gonna be my vice-president, and the first lady. Rock on !!! 

_Loud chorus of Yeah's as all the teenagers and fat lazy people roar their approval. _

AR #3 : Mr. Barton ? 

Trowa : Like Heero, I have no vice president. _fwapp !! _Ah, my other nut !! I...I mean Cathy is my vice-president, medic.... 

AR #3 : Mr. Winner ? 

Quatre : I'll have one of my sister's be the vice-president. 

AR #3 : Mr. Chang ? 

Wufei : JUSTICE !!! Justice will be my vice-president, Justice and Nataku will be my entire Congress of Justice !! 

AR #3 : Ms. Catalonia ? 

Dorothy : Why, Mr. Treize of course. 

AR #3 : But he died. 

Dorothy : Oh yeah, then my little Quatre. 

Quatre : Hell no !! You stabbed me 2 friggin times you bitch ! Oops, just, calm down Quatre, just calm down, drink some tea. I decline Ms. Dorothy's offer. 

_Dorothy grabs her rapier _

Quatre : On second thought, I accept. 

AR #3 : Mr. Merquise. 

_Zechs is once again trying to dance, although there is no music. Steve throws a book and hits Zechs in the face. _

Zechs : Huh ? Wha, oh yeah, all you ladies can be my vice-president. 

_assorted cheering from all the horny females in the audience waving dollar bills. _

******************************************************* 

Steve : Well, thats the debate, vote for your favorite candidate. I will count up the votes and announce the winner sometime after Christmas. Ok, now, in a nutshell (sorry Trowa) here are our candidates their motto and their vice president if they win. 

_Omae o Korsou party : Heero Yuy : Vote for me or I'll kill you : No vice-president _

Fun and Games party : Duo Maxwell : Rock on !! : Vice-president- Hilde Schbeiker 

........ party : Trowa Barton : ......agh ! My nut !!.... : Vive President - Catherine Bloom 

Winner Industries party : Quatre Raberba Winner : You stabbed me two friggin times you psycho bitch !!! : Vice-president - One of his sisters 

Justice party : Wufei Chang : JUSTICE !!!! : Vice-president(s) - Justice and Nataku 

Hippy Pacifist party : no candidate : no motto : no vice pres 

Blow stuff up and cause war party : Dorothy Catalonia : Beautiful pleasant candy-like war ! : Vice president : Quatre Raberba Winner 

Im too sexy for my shirt party : Zechs Merquise : *dancing* Macho macho man . I want to be, a macho man : Vice president - all the ladies in the audience 

******************************************************* 

Well, thats the debate and the run-down of all the candidates, choose wisely, vote wisely, and vote quick. 

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